Parenting is never easy, and there is no guidebook to help us out. However, by engaging in dialogue and discussion, we can establish a few things that should never be taught to children. While many of these things seem mundane, their implications on a child’s well-being are considerable.
1. Saying “No” Is Rude
Sometimes, out of goodwill, sometimes not, we end up teaching kids not to say “no.” We make them think that doing so will hurt the other person’s feelings or appear rude and disrespectful. While teaching your kids respect is essential, it is equally significant to allow them the right to refuse things they don’t want to do.
2. Their Worries Are Silly
It’s true that, as adults, we have a lot on our plates. Amid financial crisis and existential dread, a child’s concerns seem relatively small in magnitude. Be as it may, it doesn’t give us the right to dismiss their worries and concerns as small or silly. Instead of making them feel bad about it, it’s better to acknowledge their problem and teach them to navigate through it.
3. Ignore The Bully
Unfortunately, bullying is a commonplace menace that plagues the lives of many children. While ignoring the bully does work sometimes, it shouldn’t be the default response to a child’s concern. If they neglect the bully now, they might tolerate abuse in the long run.
4. Everyone Is Their Friend
While it’s tempting to instill the wholesome assumption that we can be friends with everyone, it’s only wishful thinking that will hurt children in the long run. Sometimes, people don’t like each other, and that’s just that. Instead of trying to please them or win them over, it’s healthier to teach your child to make peace with it.
5. Unhealthy Beauty Standards
We all fall prey to unrealistic beauty standards we see online. At times, these notions become internalized, and we end up perpetuating them to little kids. Body shaming children, pointing out their physical attributes, monitoring their appetite, and making them self-conscious can shatter their confidence and self-esteem for good.
6. They’re More Special Than Others
While telling your children they’re unique in their own way is perfectly alright, never go as far as to say they’re better than others. As one person comments, “It’s a recipe for future entitled adults.”
7. Do What They’re Told
We want the best for our children, but frequently, we end up expecting them to obey whatever we say without asking questions. Only telling them that “it’s for the best” isn’t enough. It’s crucial to engage in dialogue and teach children why they’re being told what they’re told, encouraging critical thinking.
8. Make Them Feel Bad About Being Wrong
The last thing you want to do is make children feel guilty for making mistakes or being incorrect. Instead, to fuel their learning and curiosity, kids should be encouraged to explore new ideas and concepts without the fear of messing up.
9. Always Finish Their Food
In an attempt to feed kids, many parents make the grave mistake of cleaning up their plates, even if they are hungry. This only makes children have an unhealthy relationship with food. If your goal is to teach kids about not being wasteful, you can tell them to save leftovers for later.
10. Share Everything
Kids should be taught the virtue of sharing, but caution should be practiced. If you teach them to overdo it, they may not learn to set boundaries and prioritize themselves when the time demands. Balance is critical, and like all other things, sharing should be mindful.
11. Toys Are Gendered
Children’s minds are above gendered notions of playtime. It’s best to give them as much exposure as possible instead of a limited range of toys prescribed for their gender. By doing so, you are encouraging your child to fit into numerous roles and learn multiple skills while tapping into their imagination.
12. The Majority Is Right
Even adults fall prey to this assumption. Instead of telling children the number of supporters defines the right choice, teach them to value an idea for its quality. You don’t want to raise a conformist who obeys for the sake of obeying now, do you?
13. If Someone Is Mean, They Like Them
Never teach your kids that if they’re getting picked on or bullied, the bully probably likes them or is secretly jealous. This will only increase their tolerance for such behavior and maybe even make them think of it as positive.
14. Gendered Roles
Instead of thrusting your own ideals of gendered roles on your child, you must give them free rein to explore and see what works for them. Socializing young girls into a caregiver’s role and teaching boys to be rowdy and loud only limits their potential for growth by putting them in a box.
15. Funny Names for Private Parts
Bodies should be normalized, and kids should learn to call genitalia for what it is. When they’re close to puberty, it’s imperative to not beat about the bush and clearly discuss the kind of bodily changes they can expect. Growing up is hard enough already, and we shouldn’t make it worse by adding ambiguity.
16. Adults Are Always Right
Just because someone’s older doesn’t make them right. While you should teach your kids not to go around disrespecting people, it’s equally important to teach them that adults are also capable of being wrong. This is particularly important when trusting a strange adult is not the safest choice.
17. Hard Work Guarantees Success
Hard work guarantees a lot of things, but success isn’t always it. Teach your kids to be creative and flexible, resilient and hardworking, in spite of the outcome. If we only teach them to focus on winning and losing, they’d never learn to enjoy the process and fixate only on the output.
18. Ugly Is Evil
Children’s cartoons are, unfortunately, full of criminal representations that perpetuate stigma against certain body types and physical characteristics. It is necessary to teach kids that physical appearance doesn’t correlate with personality and that they shouldn’t have preconceived notions about such things.
19. Don’t Cry
Kids are almost always told not to cry. Even worse, young boys are told to “man up” when they’re only children. All this does is cause emotional repression. Children end up finding worse ways to express all their pent-up emotions because they were taught to process them properly.
20. Adults Are Infallible
While children turn to adults for help and guidance, it’s essential to let them know that adults don’t have it all figured out. While it crushes many parents not to pretend to be invincible in front of their children, remember that it humanizes you and makes them connect you with you better.
21. A Career Is The Ultimate Goal
We always ask children what they want to be when they grow up. While the question is often harmless, asking them this and dismissing creative answers will box them to think “practically” and unimaginatively.
Restricting them at a young age and teaching them to be career-oriented will rob them of the carefree childhood every kid deserves. The paycheck and taxes can wait a little, don’t you think?
Source: Reddit.
